Sweet Potatoes

Last night I dreamed that I was looking out over my back yard during a welcome rainstorm. I noticed the sky was raining large sweet potatoes, but didn't find this to be odd. Instead I excitedly thought of all the delicious creations we would be able to make after harvest. I thought of the surplus of sweet potatoes the region would preserve for upcoming Thanksgiving feasts. These sweet potatoes were a blessing!

As I stepped outside to collect sweet potatoes I noticed two things. First, the sweet potatoes fell only in my yard, all other lawns were merely rain-soaked. Second, I saw that the perimeter of my yard was guarded by dozens of supernatural beings, all donning dirty, worn jeans and dingy work shirts, yet they all glowed with a beautiful radiance. Without a word, they began bringing in sweet potatoes from the edges of the yard working toward my house. I finally approached one worker and asked his name. He told me his name and, to my surprise, he told me mine. I don't remember what he said, but he spoke with such kindness and sincerity that I do remember the feeling of complete peace.

I realized that God had intended this sweet potato blessing specifically for me, that He was protecting this blessing for me, and had even sent help for me to receive this blessing.

Thank you, Lord, for the reminder of your ever-present provision in my life and letting me see the sweetness of your goodness and blessings. Thank you for all my sweet potatoes!

Baby Eve

Today is "Baby Eve." Tomorrow we will have our precious baby boy. He is a beautiful gift from God.

Do you ever have the sense God is trying to get your attention? I have spent too many precious minutes in anxiety over this upcoming C-Section. God keeps redirecting me to these two scriptures:

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. 

Isaiah 41:10

. . .Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous. . .  

Joshua 1:5-6

I can take a hint, albeit sometimes slowly. God has asked something important of me, something He is capable handling for me. I am willing and excited to experience my baby's delivery into this world.

God is with me. He will help me. He will not fail me. I will be strong and very courageous!

Think About Good Stuff

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,  2 Corinthians 10:5


By nature I am a pessimist. My mind frequently plays out the worst case scenario. I worry, speculate, fear and then find myself overwhelmed with anxiety.

A wise mentor spoke these words which stuck with me: "If your mind is filled with negative thoughts, ask yourself, are these thoughts from God or from the enemy? Thoughts that get us down or cause us to think badly of ourselves are not of God. God speaks words of life to us, while the enemy speaks words of death. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. Choose to believe the truth of God's words."

Recently I was challenged to commit more scripture to memory. Always a good idea, but one I had neglected for a very long time. I picked this verse:

Finally, bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellenceand if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Philippians 4:8

This verse encourages me to put out of my mind the "words of death" that come only from the enemy and serve only to rob me of enjoying the abundant life God promises to those who seek Him. I have succeeded in memorizing this verse. But I realized that my tendency is to lump these eight thought categories into one. Summed up this verse basically meant to me, "think about good stuff." Surely God has more for me than just vague good thoughts. So I consulted a dictionary to give me a clearer understanding of each of these virtues I am to dwell on.

• True: reliable; certain; exact; accurate; right; correct; conforming to the ideal character; honest; virtuous
• Honorable: worthy of high regard or great respect; noble; having or showing a sense of right and wrong; having integrity; upright
• Right: in accordance with morality; upright; virtuous; correct in thought, statement, or action; true
• Pure: free of any contamination; wholesome
• Lovely: beautiful; delightful
• Good Repute: the state of being highly thought of; high regard; renown; distinction; prestige
• Excellence: the quality of being outstanding or extremely good; superiority; brilliance; greatness
• Praiseworthy: deserving approval and admiration; commendable

If this is where I focus my thoughts, how will there be room for anything else? Exactly. As I discipline myself to dwell on the beautiful things of God, my heart will begin to push out the enemy's "words of death." No longer will my mind and heart be set on worry, fear, anxiety, speculation, selfishness, ugliness, bitterness, guilt, shame. The Philippians passage continues:

The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. 

Philippians 4:9 

What a promise! Now I must go practice!

Be Glorified

"Father, glorify Your name." Then a voice came out of heaven: "I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again."

John 12:28

Plans

The mind of man plans his way but the LORD directs his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

I am expecting my second baby, a boy, due in 2 1/2 months. After my daughter's otherwise "normal" hospital delivery two years ago, I decided I wanted something different.

I made new plans to receive my pre-natal care and deliver my baby boy with midwives, outside of the hospital setting, without needles, with the freedom to deliver how I wanted. I planned to hold my little baby before anyone else could whisk him away. I planned to take him home on his birthday and be at peace, alone with my family. I planned to wear what was comfortable. I planned to recover quickly without being poked and prodded every couple of hours by nurses.

My plans have been changed against my will. I have placenta previa, a condition which necessitates delivery by Caesarean Section. My new plans now include needles and IVs in my arms and back, wearing a sterile hospital gown and cap, not being able to view my baby's birth, being imprisoned in my own body unable to move from the waist down, spending days in a hospital bed with nurses poking and prodding me, enduring a long and painful recovery, living with a hideous scar--a reminder of how my baby was not supposed to be born.

I spent yesterday processing this news and by nighttime my emotions had spiraled into great sadness, anger and confusion. As I do quite regularly now (thanks to my overwhelming pregnancy hormones), I cried, no, I sobbed to Ryan unloading a tidal wave of emotions on him.

I tried to reason away this condition: I had taken great care of my body, preparing a safe place for this baby and preparing for a "marathon" of labor and delivery. Why had my body "failed" me despite my conscientious efforts to maintain near-perfect health? I questioned whether God was trying to teach me a lesson or even punishing me for a prideful heart. I lamented having to mourn loss of my expectations. I worried that I would struggle to find joy in the day of my son's birth. I was concerned whether I would be robbed of opportunity to bond immediately with him, or worse, would I not love him enough? I concluded my pity party with the assertion that I am not strong enough to handle this. I am not strong physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Ryan listened. He didn't rebuke me, belittle my ridiculous thoughts or chastise me for my disproportionate reaction to the situation. In my right mind, I know to be thankful for our healthy baby and for modern medicine that can both detect this condition and prepare for a safe operation to protect Mommy and baby. Somehow, Ryan knew this common sense wasn't what I needed to hear. Instead, here's what he shared with me, paraphrased:

God is not trying to teach us a lesson or punish you. God has a plan for our baby and it includes his arrival into this world by C-section. And I believe He is going to do great things in our baby's life. Our family will be together for eternity. When we're all united at the judgment seat of Christ you will no longer care how he was born. In fact, your son will love you so much because you raised him to know and love God. And he will know that you loved him so much to go through surgery to protect him. You are a very strong person. You are strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I love you more than anything, and I will love you your whole life. Do you love me? (I answered yes). And I will love your scar. I will see it as very beautiful because it is a part of you, a symbol of your sacrifice for our baby. God has been doing a good work in me, preparing my heart to love you more and find you more beautiful every day.

Oh, how I love that man! He gently helped move my heart from fear and anxiety toward feelings of peace and calm, feelings I was refusing to accept.

Today I have a brighter outlook on my upcoming surgery. In the coming weeks, I expect moments of panic or doubt about baby's birthday, and I want to be able to look back on these words of encouragement from my dear hubby, my gift from God. I will choose to find joy in every circumstance and delight in my baby boy, no matter the conditions of his arrival. I will take pride in the honorable role given to me as his Mommy and do what I must to bring him into our family.

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."  Jeremiah 29: 11-13

Obed-edom

Two years ago I dreamed a remarkably vivid dream in which I gave birth to an unexpected son. While in the hospital a steady stream of visitors came to admire my new baby boy and bless him with gifts. The last visitor asked his name and I replied, "Obed-edom."

The next morning I shared my dream in great detail with Ryan who asked me to spell the child's name as it sounded familiar to him. We found this story about Obed-edom in the book of 2nd Samuel, Chapter 6:

And David was unwilling to move the ark of the LORD into the city of David with him; but David took it aside to the house of Obed-edom the Gittite. Thus the ark of the LORD remained in the house of Obed-edom the Gittite three months, and the LORD blessed Obed-edom and all his household. Now it was told King David, saying, "The LORD has blessed the house of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, on account of the ark of God." David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom into the city of David with gladness.

Because I rarely experience such vivid dreams, let alone remember them, Ryan and I decided to receive this dream as a gift from God. Furthermore, this gift from God arrived during a time of trial and great anxiety. For us, the name Obed-edom serves as a reminder that when we welcome the Spirit of the Lord to dwell in our home, we will forever enjoy His blessings. God is good all the time.

Here I Raise My Ebenezer

Translated from Hebrew, Ebenezer means literally "stone of help."

While the 12 tribes of Israel were still conquering new lands, the judge Samuel commemorated their God-ordained victory over the Philistines by positioning a large stone monument, naming it Ebenezer, and declaring "Thus far the LORD has helped us." This ebenezer was intended to be a visual reminder to the Israelites of God's powerful provision and protection over His chosen people.

In the book of Hebrews, we are reminded that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Just as God was a "stone of help" to the Israelites, He continues to help, provide and protect today.

Now, I choose to raise my own ebenezer of God's faithfulness in my life. May these written words serve to remind me that God is good, He cares for me, He fights on my behalf, He blesses me beyond comprehension, His plans for me are good.